Mastering the Art of Being a Woman | What I'm Into Wednesdays #4

March 5, 2014

Welcome to my series, “What I’m into Wednesdays” (WII2W)! On Wednesdays, I’ll be taking a little time to go in-depth about products, concepts, or ideas that I’ve been “into” lately. Whatever it is that I’m into this week, hopefully it inspires you and you can get into it to!

"There's nothing more beautiful than a woman who takes care of herself, when you drink water, take care of your skin, work out, and work on your mind, body and spirit. You are going to be beautiful, regardless." - Beyoncé

One of my favorite magazines of the moment is Darling Magazine. I discovered it during one of my impromptu strolls through Anthropologie months ago and instantly fell in love with the magazine's mission and beautiful layout. Positioned as the antithesis to all the materialism, vapid advice, and extreme photoshopping found in most mainstream women's magazines, Darling seeks to help women cultivate modern womanhood in an edifying and holistic way.One of the ways they demonstrate the wholeness of womanhood is through the concept of "personas" -- artful illustrations of diverse women with labels such as "The Dreamer", "The Explorer", "The Intellectual", and "The Stylist".[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="630"]

Photo via Darling Magazine[/caption]I love this idea of "personas" because true womanhood is about cultivating all aspects of your person as a woman, not just the way you look or dress.Over the last year or so, I've been intentional about cultivating womanhood for myself and I've really enjoyed the journey. Having transitioned from being a college student, to a young professional in the city, to a new wife, I've been thinking seriously about what being a woman means to me. Though womanhood is a state of being rather than something you arrive at, I'm always thinking of ways I can grow and refine myself as woman. Here's some of the areas of my life that I'm working on and my processes for maintaining my "womanliness":

Maintaining My Appearance

Years ago, I ran across a thread in the off-topic section of longhaircareforum.com (the godmother of all Black haircare forums) where the poster was asking what it takes to become "That Girl". By "That Girl" she meant the type of woman who always looked pulled together no matter what.The post ended up being a hit on the forum as it grew into a resources full of tips, tricks, and routines for how to look put-together and feminine on a regular basis.The thread was instrumental for me because it was the first time I encountered the idea that if you want to be a put-together woman (i.e. "That Girl"), then you have to build regular routines into your life to maintain your appearance.Ever since then, I've been almost a compulsive list-maker when it comes to keeping track of my routines for clothing/shopping, beauty, and diet and exercise. I keep all my list in my favorite list making program ever, workflowy.com (also an iPhone/android app). Here are my routines:

Clothing/Shopping Routine

As I mentioned in my post about building a capsule wardrobe, I keep a running list of items I need to buy to fill out my wardrobe. In addition to tracking what I need to buy, I also keep the following daily/weekly/monthly list to maintain my clothes:

  • Daily
  • Hang clothes up after taking off
  • Hand wash bras in shower (*throwing them in the washer machine causes them to lose shape and wear out faster. So no, I'm not weird... :-) )
  • Wipe down/brush shoes, replace in box
  • Weekly
  • Wash clothes
  • Dry cleaning
  • Go to tailor
  • Iron/steam clean clothes
  • Monthly
  • Buy a new set of underwear
  • Buy a new piece of jewelry
  • Buy one item off wardrobe lists

Beauty Routines

I wrote about my complete, natural skin care routine previously, but my overall beauty routine is:

  • Daily Skin care routine
  • Dry brush skin before showering
  • Use pumice stone on feet during shower
  • Use DIY brown sugar lip scrub nightly
  • Use body oil/coconut butter as lotion
  • Weekly
  • Hair Regimen
  • Apricot facial scrub
  • Weekday bubble bathWith coconut milk, powdered milk, Epsom salt or seaweed
  • DIY Facial
  • DIY Full body sugar/salt scrub
  • Mani-Pedi (at home)
  • Monthly Eyebrow threading

Diet & Exercise

Right now I'm transitioning to eating a more "flexitarian diet" (semi-vegetarian) as I want to reduce my consumption of meat and eat more fruits and vegetables. This routine reminds me what to eat, as well as to drink more water and to stick with my workouts:

  • Daily
  • eat/chew slowly
  • Drink 4 water bottles full of water
  • Green smoothie (most days)
  • Take a multivitamin
  • Take Vitamin D
  • Don't eat processed food
  • eat (protein) breakfast
  • eat something green
  • cup of antioxidant tea at night
  • fruits and veggies
  • Limited carbs, Ezekiel bread, wild rice, etc
  • Weekly
  • Organic, wild caught fish (1-2x/week)
  • Organic, free range poultry (1-2x/week)
  • Workout and/or stretch
  • 4 Cardio session/week
  • Do abs after every workout
  • Lift weights 4x/week
  • Monthly Organic, free range, grass fed red meat (1-3x/month)

Making Time for My Feminine Side

With so much going on everyday, I've committed to taking a little time every day and week to indulge in girly stuff. Here's some of the things I do to get in touch with my feminine side:

Browse Girly Stuff

  • Pinterest. Pinterest is like a little haven for all things feminine. I love collecting beautiful images on my various boards when winding down before bed.
  • Blogs. Some of my favorite "girly" blogs are:
  • Garance Dore
  • Refinery29
  • Into the Gloss
  • The Simply Luxurious Life
  • Magazines. When I'm sick of browsing online and want some girly inspiration I can hold in my hand, I turn to Darling (of course) and Lucky Magazines.

Go Vintage Shopping

Usually on Saturday mornings, I try to sneak away and go to my favorite vintage stores. It may sound weird, but sorting through the racks of old clothes makes me feel connected to the glamour of bygone eras. I really respect how classy and elegant ladies were from the 1940s and 1950s. Every time I go vintage shopping, it feels like a little escape to their world.

Take a Bath

As you can see from my beauty routine, I like to schedule a good bubble bath on a weekly basis. I never used to be a bath person but I started to get into it after reading about Cleopatra and her famous milk baths. I started it for the skin benefits but I also see it as a free but deliberate way to take a little time out for myself as a woman.

Light a Candle/Buy Some Flowers

To me, nothing brings feminine energy to a space quicker (or cheaper) than some scented candles and fresh flowers. When I'm in a funk or something just doesn't "feel" right, I like to light a vanilla candle or place some fresh calla lilies in a vase.

Sharpening My Mind

I've always been a reader but, in my pursuit to grow myself as a woman, I've started reading on several different topics. I generally want to expand my mind and become more well-rounded, as I think there is nothing worse than a woman who can't think critically or have an intellectual conversation. Here's a sample of my "to read" list:

Pursuing My Passions

To me, a well-rounded woman is passionate about something and seeks to actively develops her talents. I've been achieving this in a variety of ways:

Writing

My main creative outlet right now is writing and (of course!) this blog. I try to spend time writing everyday; in the morning I write my thoughts in a journal to help organize my thinking and get clarity on whatever issues I'm dealing with. I like to brainstorm blog post ideas during the week by writing them in a smaller journal I carry with me everywhere. I've also been reading books on writing technique, as my dream is to one day write a non-fiction book.

Classes/Courses

Lately I've been a class taking maniac! Skillshare is my main squeeze, as its an easy and affordable way to learn different skills from various experts. In addition to the skillshare classes I'm taking to improve my blogging, I'm recently signed up for:

"Mastermind-ing"

Because I'm serious about pursuing my goals and I love connecting with other women, I've also started The B-Side, a business mastermind group for women. My hope for the mastermind is for it to not only build those who participate up as successful business women, but as women in general, since going after your dreams is definitely part of "the art of being a woman."

Building Godly Character

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised - Proverbs 31:30 (NIV)

Last but certainly not least, I'm working on becoming a more Godly woman, both as a new wife and as an individual. I'm working on this primarily by spending quiet time in the morning reading the Bible, praying and writing in my journal. If there is something I read that I want to dig deeper into, I'll spend time doing an in-depth reading in the evening. Most importantly, I strive to actually apply what I read to my life, which is the hardest part. Nevertheless, I continue to see positive outcomes in my life when I trust in God.

***

Talk to me:

In what ways do you cultivate your womanhood? What does "the art of being a woman" look like for you?

(Top photo via Remy, The Quill)

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