The other day, I posted the quote, "There's enough room for every woman to win" on Instagram and I was surprised by the response. While we all know intellectually that one woman's gain isn't necessarily another woman's loss, I think we all can relate looking at the success of another and uncontrollably feeling like we're on the losing end.Have you ever felt pressure from what another woman was doing?Maybe you see her online and she seems to be killing it with her brandOr maybe you work with her and she seems to be making moves more than anyone else in the companyEither way, you start to feel equal parts discouragement and pressure, like somehow you aren't good enough and you need to start doing the things she's doing.Before you know it you're studying her, trying to mimic her moves so you can get her results.When she does something you don't understand, you get frustrated and frantic, wondering how you'll be able to do the same thing to the same effect.It's not long before you find yourself deeper in discouragement, asking yourself (1) what does she have that you don't and (2) if you'll ever be able to keep up.Isn't it amazing how simple admiration can quickly deteriorate into a vicious cycle of comparison and competition?A cycle where you're breathlessly looking for that magic "formula", for someone to just TELL YOU what you need to do in order to be successful?While I've definitely found myself on that treadmill a time or two (or six), what I now know more than ever is every woman has a gift.And the successful women - the ones we all admire, who have legions of women trying to imitate them - don't have some "magic formula" they're hiding from the rest of us. Instead, they routinely do what a lot of women are afraid to do: use their gifts to create their success.In today's podcast, I share how to get out of the comparison cycle for good and why using your gifts is a MUST for finding success:

Podcast Summary (listen to the podcast for full content!):

The Comparison & Competition Game

I feel really strongly about women realizing that the MUST use their gifts because this was my story (and downfall ) for a few years. I felt so behind with all the mistakes I made in the past that I was desperate to "catch up" in a short amount of time.

You know how it is - everyone around you has some amazing job or is starting some amazing project but you feel like your life is standing still. Since I graduated a full 2 years later than everyone I went to school with, I constantly had to fight my insecurities of feeling like I was getting left behind.

To compensate, I started searching for the "formula" for success in an effort to get out of my situation quickly. No longer was I willing to seriously think about my strengths and talents (who has time for that?) but instead, I was stalking studying others' journey, desperate to find the "A-B-C-1-2-3" formula that would make the difference for me.

Naturally, this is where the discouragement, comparison and competitiveness came in. It didn't take long before I was completely worn out, frustrated that the path I was copying trying wasn't working.

Eventually I realized that the success formula others followed wasn't a "success formula" at all.I was so stuck on trying to do exactly what they did that I missed that the only reason they were doing what they were doing was because they were using their gifts!Taking Back Your PowerTo make matters worse, I had trained myself to stop being the authority over my own life. I made others the authority even though they had no idea who I was or what my situation was!My situation reminded me of how I was when I first got my iPhone and started using Siri. Anyone who has an iPhone knows that Apple Maps are terrible and "Siri" is notorious for getting you lost all the time.

For instance, she would tell me to make a turn that, based on my driving I felt wasn't right, but in the beginning I would follow her instructions anyway. After a while I was like, "wait a minute, I'm the one driving here, not Siri!"

Yes, a GPS is helpful but ultimately, my GPS can't see what I see! I'm the one in the drivers seat and ultimately it's my responsibility to get me to where I'm going, not some distance voice who can't see what I see and doesn't even know me.

Likewise, you have to be the driver of your own life. Other people can provide insight, inspiration, and at times, even instruction, but never forget that they can't see what you see. Never give your power away by blindly following someone else. You have to be your own authority - you have to know who you are and what works for you.

How to Use Your Gifts

To reconnect with my unique strengths and talents, I did two things. First, I reconnected with my talents. I've always had a general idea of what I was good at based on my own observations and what people told me, but I go crystal clear on it by taking a Strengths Finder test.

While taking a test is definitely a more formal route to go to identifying your gifts, I was grateful I took the Strengths Finders in particular because, in my experience, it was spot on. So spot on in fact, that I keep my test results saved in my phone so I can look at them and remind myself of my talents on a regular basis.

The second major thing I did was I stopped focusing so much on other people's tactics and started noticing how they used their talents.

For instance, two public figures that I really admire and demonstrate this exactly are Eric Thomas ("ET the Hip-Hop Preacher") and Rob Hill Sr.

Both men are inspirational figures whose businesses are built on sharing motivational messages. However, they have two COMPLETELY different gifts and as such, they approach their work differently. Nevertheless, BOTH are successful because they stay in their lane and capitalize on their strengths.

Talk to Me:

Are you struggling to use your gifts? Have you ever felt discouraged after comparing or silently competing with others? Share your experience in the comments below: