“I don’t know what I want to do with my life…”

“I feel like I’m just ‘going through the motions’ in life…”

“I just feel really stuck right now…I haven’t grown in years…”

“I’m not really passionate about anything. I don’t even know if I have a passion…”

“I don’t want to stay in this place forever but…I have no idea what to do.”

The above are paraphrases from several emails, phone calls, and in-person chats I’ve had with readers and friends who feel “stuck” in life and don’t know what their passion is.

I don’t know if I said something recently that has struck a chord with folks but the number of people coming to me for advice on this, all at once, has been kind of crazy.

If you see yourself in any of the statements listed above, today I have a podcast for you to help you find your passion:

For the full audio, please check out the podcast on iTunes and Soundcloud.

Podcast Summary:

There are 3 truths I’ve discovered when it comes to finding your passion. If you’re truly ready to find what you want to do in life and get unstuck, then…

Make a Move (even a wrong one)

Honestly, I think women who are having this issue with finding their passion are looking at the process the wrong way. For starters, finding your passion is just that – finding it.  In order to find anything, you have to be willing to search, which means you have to start taking action.

I touched on this in my last podcast, Why You Should Start Now (Even If You don’t Know How), but women especially have to get out of this mindset that you must have all the information upfront before you can make a move. While in some situations, it is better to figure it all out before you get started, in my experience, finding your passion is not one of them. In other words, you will only find your passion on the journey to finding your passion – it will not just “come to you” by thinking about it. You have to be willing to get in the game.

A lot of women feel stuck because they’re like, “I don’t even know which moves to make!” I say, start with what you want and move in that direction. If you don’t know what you want (um, get my book???) then move in the direction of (1) your interests or (2) what you don’t want.

For instance, if you’re interested in children or cooking or fashion or non-profit work or whatever, make some moves that puts you closer to your interest. And if you feel like you have no interest (which, I don’t believe…everyone is interested in something…perhaps you’re scared to admit your interests?) then make some moves in the direction away from what you don’t want. I don’t necessarily mean quit your job (though that is certainly an option!) but “making a move” can be something as simple as taking a dance class 2x a week after work or hosting cooking classes for friends in your apartment.

Remember, finding your passion is a process; the goal of making a move is to simply get you out there, experiencing new environments so you’ll have the opportunity to see if anything you’re doing strikes a chord within you. If it does, you can keep doing more of it until you’re able to determine whether or not it’s your passion. And if a move you make doesn’t resonate with you…great! Now you’ve discovered something about yourself you NEVER would have learned by sitting at home “thinking” about your passion. Both “right” and “wrong” moves point you in the right direction.

Sidenote: I had no idea that personal development and helping women would be my passion but I never would have found out had I not “made a move” and went to school for engineering. When I got into engineering, I quickly discovered it was NOT my passion, which was a great thing to learn! Because I learned that engineering was not for me, I was open to exploring entrepreneurship when it was introduced to me my sophomore year. My next move in the direction of entrepreneurship was to start a hair care business…that failed. But this was great! Through that failed hair care business, I discovered blogging. And through blogging, I discovered my love for giving entrepreneurship and self-help advice to other women and well, the rest is history.  If you want to find your passion, you have to be willing to make moves!

Follow the Thread

A few months ago, I went to Oprah’s #LifeYouWantTour in Houston where she said:

“Everyone has a calling, everyone has a purpose, everyone is here for a reason. People get caught up because they think it has to be this big thing. They don’t realize that it’s in the thread that connects the dots of your life…” – Oprah

This comment is spot on, especially the part about the thread! Your passion is already inside of you but you have to be willing to do the work and dig it out. As I look back over my life now, it makes total sense that I’d be on this path as an entrepreneur doing speaking, teaching, and training for women. This work is truly the thread that connects the dots of my life:

• From an EARLY age, like 5 years old, I loved sharing my opinion, even with adults. I’ve always loved public speaking and I’ve never had a fear of it. I’ve spoken in front of groups as large as several thousand!
• My entire life, from 6 to 26, people have always commented on how “well spoken” I am. That used to bother me because I thought it was a backhanded compliment (“I’m educated, why wouldn’t I be well spoken???) but now I realize it’s just genuinely one of my gifts.
• People have ALWAYS told me I’m wise beyond my years and that I have an “old soul”.
• I love learning, then turning around and sharing what I learn with others.
• I HATE seeing people waste their potential because growing up, on my mom’s side of the family, I felt like she was really the only one that “made” it. She was moving and shaking, getting her degrees, not taking no for answer, while many of my aunts, uncles, and cousins were content to “stay on the block” in Detroit. I saw the drastic difference in their life and our lives, their opportunities and the opportunities my mom was able to provide for me and my siblings which made me sad because we are all from the same family! As a young teenager, I told myself I would (1) always strive to make the most of myself and (2) bring out the potential in other people.
• I’ve always been the friend that everyone comes to for advice. Even when I’m the youngest in a group, people still ask me what I think.
• I used to hate having to be indoors all day as a little kid, only to get out of school at 3:30pm and then for it to get dark at like, 4:30pm during the winters in Michigan. I remember thinking to myself that once I “grew up”, I was going to do work that didn’t require me to be inside all-day if I didn’t want to. I would love when I had a doctors appointment and my mom wold take me out of school. I’ve always liked being “out and about”.
• I knew entrepreneurship was my path the second I was exposed to it. When my mom remarried, my stepdad was the first entrepreneur I ever met. He was the first person I saw who had the flexibility to set their own schedule and be “out and about” when conducting business. I wasn’t sure how to pursue entrepreneurship but I made a mental note that I liked the lifestyle and I “put that in my back pocket” for later.
• I would occasionally check out business books from the library when I was like, 16. When I got to Howard University and heard Lisa Price of Carol’s Daughter speak about her journey in starting her business, I knew that was it, entrepreneurship was for me! So I made a move in the direction of my interest – natural hair – and started a natural hair product company. That ultimately failed but at least it got me into blogging. And from blogging, I had the opportunity to start advising women through my posts and videos, which led me to this.

Be in it for the Long Haul

Helping people reach their potential is truly my passion, but I didn’t know that 10 years ago. I’m literally just coming into this now. I was on the phone with a mentor of mine yesterday and I was telling him that I feel like my entire journey is finally coming full circle.

Don’t you want to be able to say the same, 3, 5, even 10 years from now? I know that feels like a long time but remember: the time is going to pass anyway. Even though I didn’t know what I was doing, I feel really blessed that I started my journey as a teenager, really, because I’m starting to see some fruit now.

Malcolm Gladwell in his book Outliers says it takes about 10,000 hours or 10 years in a particular field to really start to get mastery of it and see some fruit. I know I have not hit my “10,000 hours” yet but I know I’m getting way closer. I definitely feel like I’ve crossed the halfway mark.

Staying stuck, feeling salty about where you are is NOT going to help you find your passion. You cannot find it by sitting around; you have to be willing to take a risk! Pray and ask God to show you a step to where you should go. In my experience, God has NEVER shown me the entire vision up front but He usually opens up a little doorway or places something in my heart that makes me go “hmm….” It’s like Alice in Wonderland, my whole life I’ve continued to crawl through little rabbit holes just to see where it goes. You cannot be afraid.

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Talk to Me:

Are you struggling to find your passion? What’s the first step you’re going to take to find it? Leave me a comment and let me know

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