Ever wondered, “What do ‘they’ have that I don’t?”

You know, as in, why are “they” able to get their business off the ground, quit their jobs, write that book, produce that event, speak at that conference, etc, etc, etc, while you struggle to figure it all out?

I wish I could say I don’t stress about what “they” have that I don’t, but actually, I ask myself that ALL THE TIME!

By nature, I am a very analytical person. I love studying the stories of successful people to figure out what they did and how I can apply it to my journey. While I love the inspiration I get from others, I admit that sometimes I slip into the comparison game.

I know its not good to compare myself to other people — they are on their journey and I’m on mine — but when I come across women who are killin’ it with their goals, sometimes I can’t help but wonder: is there something I’m missing? What am I doing wrong?

You wouldn’t believe it, but last weekend, I finally learned the answer to that question, once and for all. It didn’t come in the way I expected and — get this —  it actually cost me a little money, but I finally found the answer. Let me explain…

Over the weekend, I stumbled across a woman who promotes herself as a success, life-coach “guru” online. I had never heard of her before but I was intrigued to check her out because I came across her through another blogger I follow online.

When I clicked on her website, I’m not going to lie —  I was impressed. She had confident, smiling headshots, a laundry list of testimonials, and a press page full of big name media features and past speaking engagements.

As I sat there pondering this smiling, stylish, successful woman on my computer screen, I became more and more convinced that she had “The Answer.” She was living the dream after all; I was not. Clearly I lacked something.

Against my better judgement, I made my way over to her “products” page. I could feel that age old question slowly rising up in my chest. “What does she have that I don’t?”

In a fit of curiosity (desperation?), I pulled out my credit card to find out.

The answer cost me $17.95. Yes the sales page was cheesy. I had to scroll through a seemingly never-ending block of red text, CAPITAL LETTERS, and highlighted testimonials, all promising me that her signature product — an eBook — would change my life. I knew better. I KNEW BETTER!!! But the thought of finally uncovering the secret to success, THE ANSWER I had been waiting for all along, proved too irresistible. I just had to know. Impatiently, I clicked over to my email account, waiting for the eBook download link to arrive in my inbox.

Humor. Annoyance. Disappointment.  I felt all these emotions at once as I scrolled through her book.

Not because the book was bad — nothing was inherently wrong with the content. The advice was…you know, okay. Helpful I guess. But definitely not profound.

Essentially, I had spent $17.95 to unlock the secret of all secrets when instead, I got a PDF full of success tips I could have written myself.

And that’s when it hit me.

I could have written this myself. Meaning, I currently have just as much knowledge, just as much know-how as the “guru” who wrote this book.

Meaning, the answer to the question of “what do ‘they’ have that I don’t have?” is…

Nothing.

There is no secret sauce. No super-human talent. No mystical bit of information that would change my life if only I could get my hands on it.

“They” don’t have anything that I don’t have.

“They” are people (just like me) with a dream (just like me) who quit making excuses and went for it (just like…I could).

“They” took the skills, knowledge and passion they currently possessed and published that book.

“They” produced that event.

“They” spoke at that conference.

“They” went for that opportunity.

“They” quit waiting.

***

I’m annoyed I wasted $17.95 to realize this (can I write this off on my taxes???), but it was a lesson I needed to learn. Maybe its a lesson you need to learn too? No one has anything extra that you don’t have. You and I both have all we need to go after our goals, right this moment.

Talk to me:

Can you relate? In what ways do you hold yourself up? Do you believe that “they” have something you don’t? Leave a comment and let me know.

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