So I am the queen of trying to plan my whole life out.

No, seriously.

When I was a little girl, I used to hesitate to write my full name in the inside flap of my diary (remember these?) – not because I was scared that someone would find it, read all my scandalous 10-year old secrets, and instantly know it was me – but because…get this…I wasn’t sure what my name was going to be when I grew up and got married. As in, I expected to have my Hello Kitty diary for the rest of my life, and if I wrote my full name in it then, it might be ruined for later. You know, like when I got married and changed my last name.

I wish I could say I’ve grown up into a less neurotic adult, but I still tend to worry too much about planning out my entire life. (Though I guess I can write my full name on things now that I’ve gotten married and did, in fact, change my last name.)

To cut myself some slack, I know my over-the-top life planning comes from a good place. After watching certain members of my family live way below their potential with a victim mindset, I’m unbelievably passionate about taking life by the horns. I was also raised by a go-getting black woman who believed the same thing. Me and my mom’s favorite quote is “the easiest way to predict the future is to create it.” No one believes in that more strongly than me.

The Issue with Having it All Planned Out

Best intentions aside, the issue with trying to plan every exact detail from the start is (1) you leave no room for growth and (2) you leave no room for God. My husband was the one who pointed the latter out to me just the other day.

He was sitting on the couch watching basketball and I was attempting to causally run life plans by him. I had just gotten off the phone with my best friend, congratulating her on her acceptance to a prestigious MBA prep program and already, I was scheming how to fit the pursuit of an MBA in my life.

“So hun, what do you think about the program? I’m thinking about applying in a few years when I’m done with the training program at my job.”

“It sounds cool. You should go for it if that’s what you want to do,” he said, smiling at me with that polite but distracted smile, suggesting he’s like to get back to watching his game.

“Yeah, it does sound amazing. All the schools are Ivy League, which is great, but it means I’d…um, we’d have to move from Texas.”

“Well we never planned to spend the spend the rest of our lives in Texas,” he reminded me as he leaned in towards the TV. (“OOOH! Did you see that dunk?!?”)

“So if I got into Harvard, you’d move?”

“Babe, if you get into Harvard, our whole family is moving Boston,” he chuckled.

“Well why would you quit your job if the MBA program is only 2 years? Maybe we could be a long distance couple? I hope we don’t have any kids by then. If we did, would they live with me? I wonder if they have family dorms at Harvard…” I was in full force planning mode.

God vs. Our Plans

“Babe,” he sighed, pausing the DVR and turning to me completely.

“You are doing way too much right now. God will make sure you are where you’re supposed to be. But for now, why don’t you maximize the opportunities He’s already given you before you stress yourself out about going after something else, hmm? It’s like that Mali Music song. You just keep taking steps in the right direction, doing what God wants you to do and pretty soon, you’re walking on water.”

That was completely the right thing to say at the right moment because my husband knows how much I love the lyrics to that Mali Music song. In short, Mali Music is describing how stressful and uncertain life can feel when you try to do everything in your own strength.

“I’m tryna walk on … walk on water…
Every step that I take, I start to think this is impossible
It feels like I’m tryna walk on … walk on water…
Every move I make, I start to sink this is improbable”

I am guilty, guilty, guilty as charged of trying to “brute force” my way to what I want in life without relying on God. Sometimes it can get very overwhelming as I’m not always sure what path to take (should I get an MBA?) or if all my hard work is ever going to pay off (will I ever get to start that business?).

At the end of Mali Music’s songs, I love how the lyric’s change.

“Now trust me this ain’t another attempt to bring you in
Cuz we on the same plane, in the same world, and I feel you my friend.
But as long as you live there will be hardships and pain.
But I know a man who brings peace to the storm, He can stop the rain.”

“Just keep your eyes on Him, keep your eyes on Him
Don’t look to the left nor to the right, just walk to the light.
Keep your eyes on Him, Keep your eyes on him
and when you look down there’ll be no ground, you’ll be standing on water”

I LOVE that! Oh my goodness, just the thought of that gives me chills! It’s only when you focus on God that you’ll end up succeeding on the very thing that was impossible for you to do without HIM.

What Trusting in God is Not

I want to be clear though – the lesson here is not to not plan but rather to submit your plans to the Lord.

Please do not take this as an excuse to sit around and do nothing.

Notice in Mali Music’s song, the person had to continue walking in both scenarios (i.e. you have to take action); however, it was the change in focus that allowed the person to succeed at the end.

The bible speaks to this completely:

Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails. – Proverbs
19:21 (NIV)

In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps. – Proverbs 16:9 (NIV)

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. – Proverbs 3:5–6 (NIV)

Why God is Better

This is a daily struggle for me, but when I’m tempted plan my life out without consulting God, I think of how I wouldn’t be where I am now if He hadn’t intervened. I’m a college graduate (that definitely almost didn’t happen), I’m out of debt, I have a great career, I’m experiencing a cool new city and I’m married to a wonderful man. None of this went according to my plan, this is a result of His.

We forget that when we take steps toward any objective, its impossible to know how the whole thing will play out from the beginning. Moses didn’t know he would lead his people out of Egypt, Dr. Martin Luther King didn’t know he would change the lives of generations of Black people, and you don’t yet know the incredible things you’ll do.

But that’s the beauty of trusting in God. If you are walking in His purpose for you, God will direct your steps and lead you to something amazing.

When you look down, there’ll be no ground, you’ll be standing on water.

Who can plan for that?

***

Talk to me:

Are you an extreme planner like me? Do you sometimes feel overwhelmed by everything you want to do? How often do you trust in God?

(Photo via)

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