Hey, Think and Grow Chick family! Today is my birthday, which means your girl is officially a grown up. I am turning 29, which is insane. I have mixed emotions, mostly happy, but I realized that this is the last year I'll ever be a 20-something. I need to savor it! I’m really staring 30 in the face and having that quarter life existential crisis, but don't mind me - haha.I am doing this birthday reflection from a place of gratitude. I love that my birthday is in the summer, which means I naturally get to reflect on my life and goals twice a year. In January, everyone is setting New Year’s resolutions and goals. Everyone seems to be in reflection, but me, I also use July as mid point for reviewing and checking in on myself to make sure that am on track with the things I set in January. Overall, I can say that this has been a great year for me! I am on track with everything and accomplishing all of the biggest goals I set for myself, before the age of 30. I have to admit, it is crazy powerful to think about. As most of you know, I am in a personal mastermind, aside from my mastermind group, The Success Circle, where women who want to learn how to create a profitable income streams come together. There are about 200 Success Circle sisters they're, all working together on our goals. My personal mastermind is comprised of a much smaller group of women pursuing multi six-figure and seven-figure businesses. We have people there that are already millionaires and it’s just great bouncing off ideas with them. But because I am the goal-setting, personal development one, they all have asked me to share my goal-setting worksheets, so that we can write down our goals, share them with each other to keep ourselves accountable.This mastermind group meets every other week on Skype, and then we meet once a quarter in person, to empower and uplift each other. I digged into my archives, Google Drive for that digital goal-setting worksheet and I found this spreadsheet I made 3 years ago. I called it my life vision. It’s a spreadsheet with all these different categories: health and fitness, relationships, finances, career and business, spiritual, etc. There’s a space where you can write your ultimate vision for that life area, your one year goal, 90-day goal, etc. It was kinda surprising to come back and see what I had written three years ago. I haven’t really made my first dollar yet. Many of the goals I have written there have already manifested and it means a lot to have accomplished these by 30. It was initially my goal to do this by 28. The fact that all of this did happen when I was 28 years old, and now just turning 29, and I did it before 30, is crazy to me!Anyway, in this podcast, I thought it would be fun to just go over randomly the lessons that I've learned that I feel like have contributed to my ability to do all this. Let me just say, before I go over all this stuff, shout out to God, because none of this would have been possible without him.In the podcast, I talked about the 29 greatest lessons I have learned in business and in life in general and I am sharing it with you. For the full audio, please check out the podcast on iTunes and Soundcloud.[podcast]

Notes from the Podcast:

So, here are the 29 lessons I’ve learned in achieving my biggest goals before I reach 30:1.Knowing how is overrated.I see so many women who stall and don’t take action simply because they don’t know how. “Girl, you have to take action.” It doesn’t matter that you don’t know how. My story is a living proof of it. When I wrote all this stuff in 2014, I didn’t know how I was going to be a successful author, coach and speaker.I hadn’t even sold anything, had no idea how to make any of this happen, but I say knowing how is overrated because having the drive, desire and the determination is where it comes in. There are a lot of people who technically know how to do things, but they don't do them because they don't have the drive to make it happen. If you want to make something happen, you will figure out a way.Are you going to do it or are you not ? If you decide that you're going to do it, then it's a done deal.2. It’s okay to be a “diva”.In this phase of my business where I quit my job and I'm getting a team together, I'm learning more of how I work and what allows me to optimally produce. I realized that I was doing things that I really had no business doing, like administrative stuff because as you all know, I am the person creating products, developing the network that’s going to allow my business to be successful. I felt bad outsourcing stuff or having people do certain aspects of my business for me, because in my mind, I don’t want to be that person, the diva. I wanted to be the cool CEO, a down-to-earth person, a home girl. It took me a really long time to finally hire people and let some stuff go and let them do it. Being a “diva” doesn’t mean I’m requesting only green M & M’s in the green room, or being a tyrant. It just means that I have enough introspection to understand what I need in order to produce the results that’s going to make my business successful. Now I have payroll and staff, and in order for them to get paid, I need to be okay with being strict about how I need things to look, the way I want it and how I need them to work in order to make this thing happen.As a modern woman, especially if you’re married like me, you know there are all these expectations about what roles and responsibilities we’re supposed to have as women. Girl, if you want to be a successful businesswoman, you better outsource stuff.Outsourcing or hiring people to do stuff for you incur extra, but it saves so much time. It is an investment that allowed me to create what I have today. So, it’s okay to be a diva, give yourself what you need in order to create the results you want to create. 3. You will not stand out if you cannot be different.Everybody out here is trying to be everybody else, and I don't understand it. When I came on the scene back in 2009, there was no one doing personal development, and certainly no one doing for women or millennial women or women of color. It didn't happen. For a long time, I wrote about natural hair, because everybody could ask me about it and I had no models outside of the old heads, like Brian Tracy, Tony Robbins, Zig Ziglar or Les Brown, to really model myself after.But I was really passionate about personal development and achieving my goals, so I just started blogging and writing about that , and waited to see if people wanted to come. I came on the scene because I recognized that there was something missing, and I had something different to bring.A lot of my content is “plug and play” because I personally felt frustrated reading all these motivational books, getting all pumped up, and then having no resources or no step by step game plan to actually make this stuff happen. That was like the difference that I brought to my space in this industry that I wanted to do.Building your brand or business, you won't stand out if you can't be different. Understand your uniqueness if you want to stand out. That's what I did, I felt like that was really helpful with my brand, and continues to be, even as I do new things in my business.4. Get more of what you focus on. Watch what you focus on. If you focus on what you perceive as lack in your life, then you'll get more of that, because that's all you can see. Our brains are powerful. If you believe that you don't have, then your brain will bring to your attention more reasons or situations that reinforce the fact what you "perceive" you don't have.You've got to be really careful what you focus on, because focusing on the fact that you don't have whatever you believe that you don't have, then you'll only notice things that reinforce that belief. Focus on what you want in your life.5. You drive the car. The car don’t drive you. I've heard old people say this, don't you love old people sayings? A lot of success in business is where the person understands what their unique core competencies are, and what they're not, and use the resources available in a way that is favourable to them.I am a terrible photographer, and so I felt that I could not use Instagram because, man, everybody’s posting beautiful images, how can I ever compete? Then it dawned on me that I did not need to do something that doesn’t fit my unique strengths. I was good at communicating with people, speaking, and at conveying ideas. So, instead of focusing on flat lays or pretty pictures, I focused on really well thought out statements and quotes and different things, and really long, detailed captions, because that's what I'm good at. I'm good at communicating ideas and shifting paradigms and changing people's beliefs. I took the platform and I made it fit me, I didn't fit into the platform.6. Fortune really does favor the bold.You've got to take action and stop being scared. Most of us are scared of taking action because of our fear of failing. If you don't take action, it's going to cost you more in the long run. Taking action, even with the risk of failing, teaches you something, a golden nugget that you can spin into something that will be successful.When I first hosted an event in Dallas, it was fine, we had about 30 people show up, but we still lost some money. We didn’t break even. From a financial standpoint, that was a failure. But the event opened new doors of opportunities for me.From that event, a workbook ended up being my first product and I made sales from that. That's what I meant by fortune favors the bold. So when people now are asking me how did I get to where I am now or how I am making sales. My answer is that I was willing to step out and do something that ended up failing, but in that, I found a nugget of success, and I've been spinning that success literally ever since. Everything I have now literally can be traced back to that failure of an event.7. Learn to recognize impostor syndrome.This is a big one for women. Another reason why women can’t move forward is that they are so scared of feeling like a fraud. The litmus test for this is “can you do it, and can you do it well ?” Whatever it is you’re doing, the promotion you're seeking, the business you're trying to start, you know the skill-set needed. If you are capable, then you are capable, quit thinking you're not capable.No one has impostor syndrome when they get in the car and drive to work, because we're all capable of driving. When I'm parallel parking now, I don't think back to when I almost failed when I was 16 years old. It never comes to mind. Because I do it every day, I'm capable, and my competency is good enough where I'm able to do it. You need to think about it that way with whatever it is that you're doing.Learn to recognize impostor syndrome, and get over it.8. It's just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as it is a poor man. I am not talking about relationships, whether or not you should fall in love with a rich man or a poor man. I'm talking about the underlying concept, which is basically just as easy to do things that are beneficial to you, like bringing you more income or whatever, as it is to do things that don't.I see this a lot in business or in finance where people spend much time and effort to do something that's only going to make them $5 or something like that. They do all this marketing to launch something that is not going to be financially rewarding to them in any way.The amount of energy it takes to market a higher end product is about the same, maybe even lesser energy as it takes to market low-end products. They don’t go after the low payoff rewards or the mediocre rewards because they're too scared to go after the high payoff rewards.It's just as easy to go after big payoff opportunities as it is to go after low payoff opportunities, so why not go after the big payoff opportunities?9. Girl, like the ones that like you.This is another dating advice that my mom gave me. What she meant was, don’t chase after those boys that show no interest in you. Your pool of dating is the ones that like you, because you never want to be in a situation where you're always trying to convince people of your value. Let that one sit. Thank you, thank you mom.From a business perspective, developing your marketing around your brand goes back to understanding what's different around you. Find an audience that appreciates your unique differences. For Think And Grow Chick, because you're listening to this, you're part of my tribe, but there are people who don’t like how I do what I do.There are some people who feel like I shouldn't be doing professional work or professional training or coaching for some reason. Y'all are here and you like it, but there are some people that don't, and so I don't focus on them. I like the ones that like me, right?Find out who are in your market that gets everything about you and pour everything into that market. Don’t go chasing people who don't understand your value. Think about that from a business standpoint, from a career standpoint, you know if you do like working a job, or work in a corporation, go after the ones that are already in alignment with who you are as a person.10. Everyone needs a good lawyer, accountant, and banker.I met with a banker a few days ago and we discussed what's most disappointing, particularly with organizations that seek to financially empower black communities, is how our communities do not understand the value of having a relationship with a banker.Most of us, our relationships with banks are limited to going to ATMs or going to deposit something. Then later, when we try to get a loan, we start from scratch and strictly just by what we can demonstrate on paper. Having an ongoing relationship with a banker is basically having someone who can vouch for you in a financial context.Wealthy people treat lawyers, accountants and bankers almost like family members. That kind of mindset is really something that I'm trying to not only develop for myself, but encourage everybody else who wants to be financially free. Your bedrock: you're going to need a good lawyer, a good accountant, and a good banker.12. The tax code is written for landowners and business owners.I wanted to know how to minimize tax liability, so my accountant broke it down while we were going over taxes. I learned about how the tax code is not written to reward people who earn an income. Whether you work or you’re employed through your business, the tax code really doesn't start to be beneficial to people until they become more of an investor.Robert Kiyosaki ( Rich Dad, Poor Dad), talked about shifting from either an employee or self-employed person to business owner, and then being an investor. The tax code really becomes favorable for people who don't earn their own income. They have assets and businesses and different things that produce income for them, but they're not working in on the business, even from an entrepreneurial standpoint.12. If you don’t understand the system of money, you will never be wealthy.There are rules to money, money is a system. I love learning about money from an economic standpoint and not just about budgeting. I like learning how it flows, how it works globally, so I structure my life and decisions based on an understanding of that system to try to become economically independent.One of the ground rules to being wealthy is that you don't have to be the smartest, the prettiest, most athletic, in fact you don't have to be any of those things, but if you don't understand how money works, then you're not going to be financially successful.13. Popular financial advice will keep you broke. In the last year or so that I’ve grown my business, I’ve learned that popular financial advice will keep you broke. There are generally good things about popular financial advice. We all know that we should budget, and develop a habit of saving money and trying not to get into debt and all that. In a financial setting, you’re going to have to elevate your financial understanding beyond budgeting, saving and running up your credit cards. Rich people and successful business owners understand the basics, but there’s a whole other game that needs to be played.Look out for the kind of advice that comes from service professionals in your corner. You can learn some stuff from books, but you need to sit down with a pro who will teach you how to structure what’s been going on in your business from a financial standpoint.Those are things you can’t find at bookstores. If you want to elevate, then you're going to have to elevate the financial advice that you're getting.14. Know the difference between and investment and expenses.The difference between an investment and an expense is that an investment is something that you put money out with the expectation of getting ROI, getting more money back from it while an expense is something that you just spend money on, and not going to produce any more money for you.Many people don’t know the difference between the two, or they are trying to minimize their expenses so that they can save everything. You do want to save, but a part of that savings should go to investments. A lot of gurus make it seem like the whole goal is just to save everything, so that you'll have a huge nest egg that you never touch, ever. Wealthy people don’t have money sitting in the bank, but have liquid assets, other investment vehicles that continue to make money for them.15. The questions you ask determine the answers you get. Be mindful of the actual questions that you're asking yourself. The answers you get are kind of always going to be determined by the question. Always understand the outcome that you want in your life, and ask yourself, ask others questions that lead to that positive outcome.Quit asking questions that by design will give you negative results like, "Why can't I get my life together?" The only answers that you could get from a question like that are going to be negative.16. Play like a girl.There’s a lot of advice out there in the entrepreneurial space or productivity space that's very aggressive and forces you to hustle, and be ultra-competitive. I followed that for a while and only did I realize that it was a very male-driven conversation because men by nature tend to be driven by competition because that plays into their manhood.As a woman, it was burning myself out. All these grinding , trying to make things happen, and I was not getting any psychological or emotional reward because it wasn’t part of my make-up. Focus on what you need as a woman, what you need to feel your best as a woman, and structure your day and your productivity to play to your unique strengths as a woman, and not be out here trying to play like a dude.17. Keep your goals in front of you at all times.Before I quit my job, I actually wrote my goal down every single day before I wrote my to do list on my notebook. You know you have your list of everything you need to do for the day, before I was allowed to write that, I would write what my goals were, and I was very, very specific, and I wrote it down every single day. I mean, clearly it works, because three years later, like from first writing that goal, here I am.18. Appearances matter.They do but not in the way you think. In general, how you carry yourself is important, the confidence that you display: being articulate, mannerisms, presence, charismatic energy. If you don’t have these things, don’t worry, you can cultivate that.People who are good at cultivating that, has a confident demeanour and well-spoken, tend to do better and get more of the things that they want out of life, that's just a fact. I would encourage you to work on any of those aspects if it's not your strong suit, particularly the confidence part.19. To scale your business, do things that are scalable at first.A lot of people who jump online, wanting to have successful businesses all try these higher tactic levels, like funnels and a lot of Facebook ads, but they are not investing in their tribe. Focusing on growing my community first was how I grew my business, even before I have something to sell. I was able to do that because I only had like 50 followers, but I was really involved in my community's lives, knowing them by name, tweeting each other. I was really wrapped up in what they were doing.I can’t do that right now at this level, even though I’d love to. I got to this level, because I was doing those things at first. Understand that there are some basic business principles that should always be met, and that is really pouring into your audience. Make sure you're doing that, even if it's "not scalable".20. You are always in the marketing business.Always, always, always. I see a lot of people in the business that they don’t want to do anything with marketing. If you are a financial advisor, your business is actually marketing financial advising services. If you are a chef, your business is actually marketing your chef services. If you cannot market what you do, then you're not in business.21. Analytics are just as important as creativity in business.A lot of people post on social media all day, or do other creative endeavors , which is fine, but don’t understand the metrics in their business. Many people miss out on this. They don't understand the true behind the scenes of what makes the business run. All they see is the pretty visual stuff, and they think that’s about it, when that's just really the tip of the iceberg.A lot of business owners don't even know how much it costs them to acquire a customer. There are metrics in your business that you need to know if you want to be a real "business owner", and so if you don't know that stuff, and just the basic analytics that are important to make decisions in your business, then you're going to be in trouble. Take the initiative to learn it if you do not know about it.22. Life is what you make it.Life is like “Play-Doh” because, you can mold and shape life however you want it. I don't understand why people don't realize that you can make your situation different.To be able to do something different, it first starts with believing that you can shift your experiences, that life is like Play-Doh, that it's malleable, that you can continue to shape it however you want it.Just like pottery, you put your hands into the thing that you’re making, adjusting it until you get the shape that you want it to look like. It's a process, but you have to be willing to put your hands to the wheel, and so many people are not willing to put their hands to the wheel, because they don't even believe that it can be shaped to begin with. I'm here to tell you, life absolutely can be shaped. Know what you want, and then take action to start shaping it the way you want to shape it.23. Success loves speed.Implementation is everything. I'm a believer that you don't really own an idea until you execute it. Let’s be real. Many of the ideas that we come up with, there's nothing new under the sun. Like other people have come up with that before, or somebody else on the other side of the world woke up with the same idea as you.You're not entitled to the idea until you take action on it, and that's why success loves speed. We have to stop falling in love with our ideas, and start falling in love with execution, because only once you execute do you really start to see the success that you are looking for.24. You are really more productive if you wake up early.When I finally quit my job and I didn't have to wake up at very early. Sometimes I experimented with waking up a little later. There were times when I was waking up at past 7 in the morning, I never really stayed in bed past eight, but I was like, "Eh." I'm not too hard on people, some people are naturally night owls, like is it really a big deal to wake up later?I tried this, and I can say that you really are more productive if you wake up earlier. I've gone back to waking up at five and 5:30, even though technically I don't have anywhere to be. I don't have a boss or anything like that, but I just get more things done.25. The first hour of the day, sets the rest of the day.That's why I'm a big believer in waking up earlier. It's like if you can get that win, like the rest of your day is just going to be really, really awesome, so get up earlier if you can.26. Money is relative.I thought about this because I've realized that what I considered to be "a lot of money" has changed. Part of the reason that it's changed is because the volume of money that I'm dealing with on a monthly basis are in terms of like making payroll, or paying consultants, paying taxes, or taking money set aside for taxes.I remember seeing other people’s income reports at the end of the year or something would just really amaze me, like $30,000 - $40,000 in a month is a lot of money. But once you get into business, what you initially felt like a “lot of money” starts to shift, just because it takes a lot of money to run a business.Your perspective of it shifts the more you focus on just your own financial development and business development. Knowing that money is relative, and truly understanding that in your bones, I think really frees you.27. Your network is really your net worth.Last year, I've been working really hard on networking in a really authentic way, just because it's really important. I read it in a book called Never Eat Alone, and it says, poverty is not a lack of money, poverty is not having the people you need in your network to get you to where you want to go in life.We are all limited by the thought that we would only do something when we had the money to do it. But a lot of times, it’s not really the money, it’s about having somebody with access to the thing that can open doors for you. By partnering with the right people who had access to followers, or a target market similar to yours and developing relationships with them, you will be able to get the information you need. Sometimes the relationship involves money in terms of paying a consultant or a coach for something, but oftentimes it doesn't, in terms of people on your level doing extraordinary things. Your network really is your net worth, and the best way to do it is to build it when you don't need it. Develop a genuine interest in all people, even people that you feel can't do anything for you, or are "below you".28. Girls are better with God.I mean that in terms of everything of that whole grace versus grind concept that I talked a lot about. Play like a girl. Understand that grinding it out is just gives you results in the short term, but it's just not sustainable in the long term. You really want to operate in grace as much as possible. As a believer, it's just been wonderful to be acknowledging that I don’t know everything, and can’t do everything on my own. It's really awesome to be able to just give this over to God, and just allow the divine intervention to happen. I'm just super fortunate and grateful about the people that God has brought into my life, and the opportunities that I've been able to get.29. I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.Those are the 29 lessons I learned in achieving my biggest goals before 30, so I wanted to share all this with you, and the birthday gift to you.